Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
