my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
