will power is for people who don't want to get laid
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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