Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
