im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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