return my video game
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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