Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
