I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
