Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My balls are so social today.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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