He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
