dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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