Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
third nipple confirmed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
