It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
