Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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