He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
