After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
