You work out of a Hotel?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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