Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
