Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i now understand why vodka
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
