I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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