Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
