Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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