Whod you bang
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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