Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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