dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
