I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
