Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
