Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
