So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
