i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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