I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
