I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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