I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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