I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
