I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I need to align my fucking chakras
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
