and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the raccoons are back...
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