woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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