idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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