Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
