Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
