He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
