How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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