he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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