Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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