How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
