rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
