I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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