So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
