dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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