thus making me awesome and them whores
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
