I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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